Why ‘Happiness’ is not what we think it is

“Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for”

– Viktor E. Frankl

Happiness has become an obsession for modern humans. In my early twenties, I used to believe that traveling, eating good food, and having mindless party nights were the best ways of living a happy life in the 21st century. This was very often reinforced by the social media posts and updates, that had taken over the life of millennials like myself. However, though these experiences did bring me happiness, they did not last long and at most times even left an empty hollow inside me.

My take on happiness started to change soon when I got interested in exploring the ‘purpose’ of human life. Though I’m still not close to finding life’s purpose, it took me down a path of reading more about happiness and joy – from the Indian philosophy in the Upanishads and Buddhist traditions to the Stoics, until I chanced upon the school of Positive Psychology.

How Positive Psychology views Happiness

Positive psychology is “the scientific study of what makes life most worth living, focusing on both individual and societal well-being”. It offers a very insightful approach to understanding happiness beyond its portrayal as a pleasure-seeking activity by the consumerist modern society.

One of the early exponents of Positive Psychology is Dr. Martin Selignman who developed the ‘Authentic Theory of Happiness’. This theory suggests that Happiness consists of three components:

[Happiness] = ^_[Pleasure] + [Engagement] + [Meaning]

These terms are too obvious to be explained in detail. But it is important to understand that each of these components affects our level of happiness very differently.

Pleasure as a source of happiness

Pleasure is the most ubiquitous version of happiness for most of us. But our experience has also repeatedly proven that it can only last so long. The pleasure we get from eating a great meal, having ice cream, or binge-watching our favorite show makes us feel good for a very short while.

But ask anyone about such an experience they had a month ago and they can hardly relive it or derive any continuing satisfaction from that experience. Thus the role played by ‘Pleasure’ in sustaining our happiness is very low. What is worse is that medium or high levels of pleasure even moderate the levels of happiness that one can further attain through other means!^[1]

Engagement as a source of Happiness

Now coming to the aspect of ‘Engagement’, we find that it is placed on a slightly higher pedestal than ‘Pleasure’. We derive happiness from engaging in a work passionately without distraction, producing something artistic, or doing something we love the most. Even in our daily office work or studies, we generally experience that moment when we truly forget about ourselves and seem to be lost in the activity we are performing, sometimes even for hours.

The famous psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls this a state of ‘flow’^[2]. Such an ‘engaging’ work normally gives us happiness and satisfaction that stays with us longer when compared to what we derive from pleasure-seeking activities. These ‘engagements’ also normally see us outgrowing our past limitations and also bestowing us with a true sense of achievement.

Meaning, the ultimate source of Happiness?

The third component is ‘Meaning’ which is found to be the one that has the highest influence on sustaining one’s happiness. ‘Meaning’ is hard to explain. In a very general sense, it comes from performing actions that are beyond one’s self-interests. Placing others’ needs before one’s own, working for a social cause, volunteering, or even a small act of kindness that transcends one’s narrow interests give us a sense of meaning.

It has been found that the actions that produce ‘meaning’ have the highest power to sustain happiness. One normally remembers such deeds with a sense of contentment and joy even months or years after it was performed. You might also find that the work which gives us meaning also engages us most of the time. Thus meaning and engagement are closely related, and often inseparable.

Why do ‘engagement’ and ‘meaning’ give us more happiness than ‘pleasure’?

Researches provide us with many answers. Most importantly, engagement and meaning often create more social and institutional resources, which a mere act of pleasure could not. Thus it has the potential to keep us in good stead in the long term. Haven’t you heard that an act of kindness is often returned tenfold?

So what is the takeaway from our increasing understanding of Happiness? It could mean different things to different people. But what is clear is that ‘following the herd’ to stay happy is definitely not the answer. As a first step, understanding oneself or what is known as ‘self-reflection’ might be a good idea. It is important that we as individuals question ourselves as to why we do the things we do. You might not get an answer right away, but this questioning opens up our self-awareness. Thus the next time you fret over buying an expensive smartphone or an exotic holiday, ask yourself – Is this the best way to be truly happy?

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N.B.
Dr. Seligman expanded his theory of happiness later on by including ‘Positive Relationships’ and ‘Accomplishments’. I excluded this as most of us already focus on these components in our life, whereas ‘Engagement’ and ‘Meaning’ are often ignored or even worse, trivialized.

References:
[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4873493/
[2] https://www.ted.com/talks/mihaly_csikszentmihalyi_flow_the_secret_to_happiness